Chapter 16 - I’m Okay

 

As stated earlier, one reason people seek out a medium reading is because they feel a need to know if their loved one is “okay.” And in my experience only, every spirit I connect with is more than okay.  One description of “heaven” is: a spiritual realm or state of existence characterized by eternal peace, joy, and happiness, often seen as a reward for a life well-lived or a place of reunion with God and loved ones. This is what it feels like to me when I connect with these souls.

 

But for me to tell a client that their loved one is okay - period, that doesn’t bear enough weight.  They need to know this is “their person” and they need evidentiary validations to prove this.  I did a reading once for a very lovely older woman in her beautiful little condo as she sat very anxiously on her sofa with her daughter watching in a nearby chair. My first words were “Who is Robert?”  She put her hand to her heart and said that it was her late husband who she was hoping to hear from.  Bam!  That was easy.  Robert is here!  And he is about to tell her that he is okay.

 

This does not happen in every reading.  Sometimes they give their names and sometimes they do not.  Why?  I don’t know.   Sometimes the first thing they want to talk about is their actual death.  I like to think that “Spirit Knows Best,” and that this is what the client needs to hear for the best validation.  I did a reading for a client where the first thing they brought up was the immense pain in their chest, dropping to the ground and dying very quickly.  Her husband had a heart attack, he was outside and  died alone, and was not found for several hours.  He went on to assure her that he was okay.  He was with his mother and father.   The father had died when he was a child and he was thrilled to be reunited with him after all these years.  

 

Often when people die, they are alone.  But guess what?  No one dies alone.  It could be in the case of an accident, or a person may die outside by themselves and remain outside for awhile until they are discovered. This is very disturbing to the family.  And once again, “Spirit Knows Best” so, they will often talk about this and sometimes even state the name of the person that came to get them to bring them to The Other Side.  Every reading I do is between 30 and 90 minutes, so there are many things discussed during this time, but Spirit will give them what they need to hear.

 

Sometimes at the time of a person’s death, they do not physically look good or healthy.  It could be a man who had died of cancer and was at one time 200 pounds but at the time of death weighed only 100 pounds.  It could be a person who is disfigured badly in an accident and they want their loved one to know they are not in that way anymore.

 

There is actually another way that they can show their loved one that they are okay.  This is through a visitation dream.  Have you ever had a dream about a loved one and thought it was just so real?   Well - lucky you - you might have had a visitation dream.   Visitation dreams are vivid, intense dreams, where a deceased person appears to the dreamer, often providing reassurance or comfort. These dreams are often experienced as real, and they can play a significant role in the grieving process, potentially aiding in resolution and acceptance. 

 

True “visitation dreams” are actually very easy to identify because they are very different than “everyday dreams.” Characteristics of most (but not all) visitation dreams include the following:

 

• The most important characteristic of a true visitation dream is that it feels “real.”  It will also be very vivid.

• Because they are so real and so vivid, you will remember visitation dreams very clearly for days, months, years . . . probably for your entire lifetime!

• The person (or animal) will always appear in the dream to be completely healthy and behaving in a loving manner.  They will rarely appear sick or injured.  They will never be angry, disappointed, depressed, or punishing.  

• Whether or not they speak to you verbally in the dream, they will communicate very clearly.

• It isn’t easy for deceased loved ones to enter a dream.  They come with a purpose, and they will convey the message and then be gone.

• Most often, their messages fall into the category of “reassurance.”  They come to let you know that they are fine and that they want you to be happy.  

• After a visitation dream, when you wake up, you will often be filled with a sense of peace and love.

 

One of the most interesting stories I ever heard that involved a visitation dream was when I was doing a reading for two sisters in their home.  Both of their parents had passed and both were there that day to give messages.  But at one time during the reading, my client told the story of her parents coming to her in a visitation dream.  She was dangerously overweight and suffered from sleep apnea.  During that dream, her parents told her that she HAD to lose weight or she would die. She said she hugged them both and said she never felt anything so real.  There was one thing very different about this dream.  She felt that she HAD actually died from her sleep apnea condition, was reunited with her parents who gave her this message, and was then sent back.  She changed her life the next day and she has lost about 150 pounds to date.  She also has become a good friend.

 

I have had three visitation dreams in my lifetime.  Once from my dad and twice from my mom.  My mother appearing the first time was just her face very close up and she said, “ I missed you.”  It was definitely in the past tense and I never did quite figure out how to interpret that.  The second time she showed me herself lying in her bed where she died, and she was explaining to me how it felt to die. She was very nonchalant about it and said, “At first I thought that the bed had fallen out from underneath me, and then I realized it wasn’t the bed lowering, that I was actually being raised up.”  She said it was a very peaceful feeling.  

 

A year or so after my father died (over 30 years ago), I had a dream of him sitting in a chair across from me and we were having a general conversation about raising my children.  It was so very real, like he was sitting in my house, and it stuck with me for a long time, but at that time I didn’t know what a visitation dream was.  I wish that I could remember everything that he said.